Baby showers are a wonderful chance for the family and friends of an expectant mother to gather together and celebrate the impending arrival of a new addition to the family. Since the last thing a mom-to-be needs is even more stress in the weeks leading up to her due date, a baby shower should be a happy, drama-free event. And whether you’re helping to plan a baby shower or are just planning on attending one, you can help keep it happy and drama-free by following the rules of baby shower etiquette.


As you prepare for a baby shower, you may be asking yourself, “What is baby shower etiquette?” It’s the collection of rules (spoken and unspoken) that have evolved over the years to ensure that a baby shower is absent of any drama. The last thing a baby shower should be is an uncomfortable environment for anyone in attendance, whether they are the mama-to-be, the baby shower planners, or the guests.


Truth be told, keeping proper baby shower etiquette begins long before the event is actually held, and starts with the guest(s) of honor: The mama-to-be and her little one, and by extension, her family. The first thing that needs to be decided by this inner circle is who will host the baby shower, who will be invited, and when and where it will be held.

Who Plans a Baby Shower?

Usually, the parents-to-be don’t hold a baby shower themselves; that duty has instead traditionally fallen on the mother of the mother-to-be. This isn’t a rule set in stone, though, at least not anymore. Any close family member or friend, or even a collection of family and friends (to avoid hurting anyone’s feelings), can be tapped to plan and host a baby shower.

Once the planners are decided on, next up is determining who can come.

Who Should Be Invited to a Baby Shower?

In the not-too-distant past, women-only baby showers were de rigueur. But as we venture further into the twenty-first century, coed celebrations have become far more common (especially seeing as how dads-to-be tend to have a prominent role in helping put the bun in the oven, so to speak).

So, invite whomever you want to the baby shower. Do guys go to baby showers? If the mama-to-be wants the dad-to-be (or other male family members or friends) to be there, then they should be invited. Period. Give the expectant mother what she wants, which means inviting whoever she wants to invite!

When to Have the Baby Shower?

Baby showers are usually held one or two months before a mama-to-be’s due date, so that’s a good time to have it. As for when to send out baby shower invites, these should be sent out a month or two beforehand to give attendees time to prepare (by checking out the baby registry to choose gifts, of course!).

Where to Have a Baby Shower?

A baby shower can be held at the grandmother-to-be’s house, at a friend’s house, or even at the parents-to-be’s house. Ultimately, where to have a baby shower depends not only on who is doing the planning and hosting, but also the mother-to-be’s comfort level and the number of guests who will be in attendance.


If you’ve been invited to a baby shower, you need to know that baby shower etiquette for you is all about making sure that you don’t offend anyone with your behavior or gifts.

How to Behave at a Baby Shower

The mood and conversation at a baby shower should be light, so be careful about what you say and do. Don’t remark about how big a mama-to-be’s belly is; she already knows. If it’s a coed event, but the father-to-be isn’t there, don’t ask why. If there hasn’t been a gender reveal, don’t ask if they’re expecting a girl or a boy.

Above all, do whatever you can to contribute to a positive, joyous, uplifting mood for the mama-to-be. That also means if there is alcohol (there may not be), sip it — don’t get tipsy.

What to Bring as a Gift

As for your gift, going with what’s on the baby registry is your best bet, if it hasn’t already been all bought out. A baby registry has items that parents-to-be feel will be helpful in the first months after a baby is born. By bringing an item that was on it, you’re paying attention to their needs, and taking one less worry off their minds.

If you’re struggling to decide on a gift, and one isn’t already on their registry, you can always get mama-to-be a pre-packed hospital bag to ensure they’re fully prepared for the big day.


Baby showers are a great opportunity to celebrate the upcoming arrival of a tiny new family member, and when everyone abides by baby shower etiquette, a fun, drama-free time can be had by all. Even so, everything a mama-to-be might not be on a registry or received as a baby shower gift. To fill in the gaps, or simply ensure a mama-to-be is as prepared as can be, check out Lily + Llama today!

February 25, 2022 — Michelle Conarty